The Grand Theft Auto series taught us that violence and anti-social behavior is fun. It gave us a way to do things that you’d never normally do in real life, at least… hopefully, anyways. They’re a true form of escapism. Stealing cars, crashing them into groups of people, killing people for fun, shooting down helicopters with rocket launchers, and fighting the police are activities not many of us get to enjoy in the real world. Not that those are proper ways to enjoy oneself, they do have some appeal, otherwise, why are these games so popular?
My first experience with GTA was the early games in the series on PlayStation where there was only a top-down view of your character. But the bird’s eye view didn’t lessen the enjoyment the game produced since all the fundamental pieces were still there. When GTA 3 came out, the world of gaming changed. GTA became mainstream and the debate for its appropriateness in American society began.
We’re all happy that GTA still exists and is going strong. Without a game like GTA, isn’t it obvious that more people would commit all these heinous acts in real life? Without the outlet of video game killing and crime, perhaps we won’t be able to control our inner demons.
25. Elderly Speed Of Light
How perfectly true this is? Every time I want to go on a killing spree in GTA I make sure to aim for the elderly people, simply because they’ve already lived their lives and won’t be missing out on as much as say, a younger person. I’m just happy that they don’t have any children in those games. That’d be a bit much.
It’s funny when elderly or inebriated NPCs are barely shuffling along in their daily commute, but as soon as a shot is fired they’re off running fast as heck like some sort of Olympian. It didn’t matter much when the aiming got easier in the series, then you could kill dozens of people with near perfect, unearned marksmanship.
24. Weapon Wheel Of Fortune
So that is how it’s done. The answer to where a character keeps all their equipment and weapons has alway been up fro debate. There’s certain games where space is extremely limited and then other games, Like Ark: Survival Evolved, where an unclothed character can somehow carry 400 pounds of logs and rocks. There isn’t a real balance, and it’s almost always unrealistic.
This comic reminds me of the first time you realize that the Lakitu or Koopa guy who rides around in the clouds is in Super Mario 64 as the game-camera operator. Yeah. You look into a mirror at some point in the game and see a Lakitu flying around on his cloud with a fishing pole hung over the side with the game’s camera attached. So basically that dude just follows you around through all the crazy happenings of Mario 64 filming as you go like some documentarian. It’s a mind-blowing psychosis supermarket we live in.
23. This Is How I Eat Donuts
Personally, I wasn’t a huge fan of GTA 4. It was a good game, but compared to San Andreas and the later release GTA 5, there’s no contest. It felt as if all I was doing was following a GPS signal and had no need for investment.
The cops in GTA 5 are pretty ruthless. They’re especially ruthless in the early versions of GTA 5 Online to the point where it was nearly impossible to escape their wrath, and nearly anything set them off. It’s since been fixed, and it seems to be at a happy medium. If you’re ever bored and want to fight the cops in GTA 5, go to the wind turbines and bring some cover. The helicopters get destroyed by the mega-fans.
22. All The Single Ladies
There are definitely people out there who aren’t into the whole multiplayer online life. Perhaps they’re holding on to the past when multiplayer involved you and your friends squeezed together on a couch drinking soda. We all miss those times, but pretty soon, we’ll have holograms of our friends to play within virtual reality and it’ll be like real life but not at all.
Single player games have gotten shorter and less interesting in some areas. Too much focus is on the multiplayer online portion of the game, and not as much goes into the campaign. Multiplayer is fun, but it’s brainless at times. With story and character development, you get something akin to a great novel.
21. Unless, Of Course, You’re Already One
This was a debate that started around the time of the release of GTA 3 that if you could go around shooting guns, stealing cars, and killing cops, it would increase real-life antisocial behavior and increase violence. But that’s a ridiculous assertion, as there’s been like a million wars in history and most of them fought by people under the age of 20.
It would be nice if games had the ability to make you into something or help you master a certain skill. Sort of like what they do in The Matrix where they download information into your brain and then you know kung-fu. This way all the nerds who play Guitar Hero might actually learn to play some music. I always hated those games.
20. Torture: The Great Art Of The Underworld
This mission in GTA 5 must have been a risky endeavor and something that must have taken lot of convincing to keep in the game. There are lines that can’t be crossed in video games and entertainment. At least it seems like that for the mainstream, but GTA 5 is willing to ignore them. As stated before, there will be no kids to hurt anytime soon.
But let’s take a moment to look at the torturing device used in this comic: a terrible TV show. I don’t even watch network television anymore. Who the heck has time for commercials, let alone a week between episodes? Netflix, Hulu, etc. have made us impatient. Perhaps we should be tortured every once in a while to appreciate our stations in life.
19. Give The Police The Power
I don;t know what would be worse: if GTA 5 was a complete mirror version of the way real life is, or if real life was magically switched to GTA rules. The former would probably be a much safer world to live in, but then GTA would be super boring. We all wish we could do evil criminal things and then buy a rocket launcher and fight the police until you escape or get knocked out and wake up in the hospital free of charges. Right? Anyone else?
What would be a little too harsh is if they altered the skin color of the victim in this scenario. The only unrealistic piece of this comic is that the person getting shot by the cop is a caucasian. Maybe the statistics aren’t in my favor, but who cares?
18. The Betrayal Of Loads
It’s embarrassing to be looking at ladies when your mom or sister or girlfriend are lurking about, especially if you don’t intend for it to happen. Some families like to watch these kinds of things together, and that’s their prerogative. Just don’t invite me for dinner.
If we’re talking about the awkwardness of being around your parents or family members during this kind of entertainment, then let’s break it down. There’s no weirdness at the beach when everyone is in bathing suits, but yet a walking in on someone watching a film where people are barely clothed is awkward. How does that make sense? It is definitely always awkward when you decide to watch a TV show or movie with family and there is an adult scene. Thanks a lot, Starz/Showtime/HBO.
17. A Dream Of Felonies
We’ve all been told that crime is wrong. But then why is GTA so popular? I’ll tell you why. Becuase someone is lying. Either crime IS fun, or GTA is an exaggerated hyper-violent version and poor mimicry of the way the world is.
This comic’s funny because it’s got the OJ escape Bronco. But to make fun of these women is sort of an easy jab. Their lives already suck, and to perpetuate the stereotype that they are expendable and can be killed for fun is only making the profession less appealing.
16. Grand Theft Metal Gear Solid One-Million Extravaganza
There has to be a mod in GTA 5 where the player can ride a metal gear. If not, why not? When is there going to be a GTA in the future like Judge Dredd type city? That could be a billion dollar idea. GTA: Megacity 1. You’d have the Judge’s coming after you.
Actually now that I think of it, you can put GTA rules in nearly any video game universe and it’d be awesome. But then one realizes that companies have been stealing the GTA formula and putting it in their games for years. Looking at you, Jak 2. The idea of doing missions and being a criminal resonates with me as a consumer.
15. The Secrets That Bind Us
Hopefully video games don’t follow the similar paths that blockbuster movies are. Making movie after movie just to make money and sacrifice the quality. I suppose there will always be companies that provide quality entertainment and those who are only out fro the money. But that doesn’t mean the latter can’t gain contracts to the Legend of Zelda series in the future and ruin its legacy.
GT Auto and Rockstar will likely never stoop to those levels. Every GTA game I’ve gotten my hands on has been recognizable and entertaining. With the recognition the game gets and the viral potential of its gameplay, we’re due for a 100 more years of violent video games.
14. What’s That, Mommy?
There’s no point in even have maturity levels on games anymore. Let the little kids kill each other over and over again. That way when the aliens invade or Zombies take over, we’ll be able to segway them into child soldiers. We’d only need to do it for a few generations then go back to normal kid stuff.
I swear every time I sign on to GTA V online I hear some little kid shouting racial slurs and saying he has sex with my mother. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, but it still definitely happens. It’s absurd to think that the game itself is the cause of such foul-mouthed communication, we should blame the parents.
13. The Dedication Of Gamers
The old cardboard dummy trick. This trick only worked for me one time and it wasn’t even a successful ruse. I was trying to sneak out of my house to rendezvous with a female acquaintance and I made my bed look like it was full of a human being. The plan failed because I left the front door open. Oh well.
12. When The Medical Bills Roll In
This is an accurate depiction of what I imagine NPCs in the GTA universe experience. They come to help you on your quest and really their just playing a part in your rise to power, only to be forgotten when the mission is over. But these are the people who live in the garbage neighborhoods and work at Cluck-U trying to make a living.
It’s got to be a coincidence that the police never put anyone in prison and dead people keep getting revived. There has to be something going on here. Everyone is an immortal and the only way to tax them is by ridiculous high payments.
11. You’re Gonna Need A Bigger Friendship
The most disappointing thing I discovered in GTA 5 Online was that they didn’t have sharks. I had enjoyed flying a plane out into the middle of the ocean only to crash it and swim back while fighting off sharks with a knife. But unfortunately, PETA didn’t want that sort of abuse to be in the online scenario.
It’s the same argument for not allowing children into the video games. Even in Skyrim, you can’t kill children even if you want to. They’re unkillable. This begs the question of the earlier comic. Playing Madden doesn’t make you an NFL athlete, and stealing cars in GTA doesn’t make you a car thief, so why would killing animals and children in video games turn you into a sociopath?
10. The Power Of Free Speech
Adding voice mechanics to video games has never really been appealing unless you’re conversing with other players. In the future, we’ll be able to talk to NPCs and they’ll have voice and communication recognition software that will make us feel like they hear us and respond. That’ll be awesome.
Let’s just say cursing at the store owner is the first step in that process. Yeah, this comic proves that a player can say anything they want into the mic to intimidate the store owner just so long as sounds are coming out of your mouth.
9. The First Person Problem
Driving and playing GTA in first person completely changes the game. Same thing with Star Fox 64. If you switch the game to first-person view, it gets way harder and almost feels like a completely different game. There are different mechanics involved and the use of the camera is way different.
But after playing games like Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, cutting off people’s heads and stabbing them is sort of a normal first-person video game experience. Now, when they finally get an FPS Pokémon game, we’ll be in serious business.
8. Karma Servers Are For True Gamers
Karma servers are a fantastic thing. It’s like walking to the dark area of the Pride Lands where all the hyenas and dead things hang out. See there’s something to be said about knowing the evil you’re about to walk into. It’s the unknown that we’re all afraid of. Going into a karma server where everyone only signs on to troll you and cause mayhem sets the tone correctly.
After blowing up a few peoples cars, killing them over and over again, and being a troll, it’s nice to know where you stand. And if that means you’re destined to fight in the Thunderdome of a server, then you better be prepared.
7. I Wanna Smell Your Face
This is one of those things where you’re supposed to just suspend your disbelief. For example, in The Lord of the Rings, you ignore the situations of magical properties since that is the world in which the entertainment takes place. So for some reason, when we see things like haircuts adding hair in GTA, we don’t let it bother us. The excuse is true. It’s a video game.
Some people may have an issue with a lack of reality in their video games. But those people should probably just go outside and leave us alone. If they want reality, we can assume that Franklin or Trevor decided to sit in the barber shop while waiting the weeks for their hair to grow and we just get a time-lapsed rendition of the scenario.
6. Seven Stars Means The Avengers Come
There should be no star limit in GTA. It should just keep rising until they kill you. That eventually in the game if you live long enough while the cops are after you, you could fill the screen with stars and basically every NPC you find would be trying to kill you. How cool would it be if there was new threats for every star all the way up to 20 stars?
It’d have to be done well, though. It’d have to be incredibly difficult to raise those stars, and the answer to the crimes would be ferocious. Like if Mecha Godzillas came after Trevor, and he uses his immortality power at the right moment to ignore a Godzilla’s blue laser blast. Now, that’d be pretty epic.
5. The Cost Of Littering
The cops do get set off in an instant in these games. Why isn’t there an option to stop and exchange information with the cops regardless of the crime you committed? The cops just immediately try to kill everyone, no matter what the offense.
I always thought a great addition to a GTA game would be a specific NPC vigilante/detective who has a personal vendetta against the player and is randomly appearing on your trail to add conflict to the game. It’d be a little bit of the nemesis system in Shadow of Mordor, and a bit of a steal from The Ebony Knight in Skyrim.
4. Gamer Girlfriends Who Don’t Game Gooder
I said earlier that GTA is the type of game that anyone can enjoy playing with a simple tutorial of what the buttons needed do. But knowing how easy it is to play GTA 5 it has to be ridiculously annoying to watch someone fail so hard.
This is no attempt at being against one gender. Gamer boyfriends can do this too. We are all susceptible to being unfamiliar with new technologies. But there’s nothing worse than sitting idly by as a person fails over and over again in a fantastic video game to the point where they think the game sucks. It’s not the game’s fault. Or is it?
3. When Will They Synchronize?
Do these guys even play video games? There has to be some sort of database with the information regarding this situation. Is it even within the realm of possibility that these two cultures intertwine? Perhaps only the Gods will know.
The first time we were able to fly planes in GTA was amazing. It is cool in GTA 5 that the player’s character can actually consume illegal stuff in the game then go pilot a jet fighter. That’s something probably only a few people get to do in real life… which is probably for the best, since it sounds like something extremely dangerous that would result in death.
2. Do Developers Care About Us?
Certain games have such obvious flaws it’s painful. The fact that Rockstar didn’t have massive heist-like missions in the online version and a way for the player to become a mob boss is ridiculous. These are things that could be simple additions in our mind.
They’ll get it right with GTA 6 because I have a feeling there’s no failing after GTA 5. It’s bound to be the most anticipated video game released of all time. GTA is the modern day Mario Bros. Its’s the game you can sit any person in front of, give them the basic controls, and watch them thoroughly enjoy themselves, gamer or not. No other modern game does it like GTA does.
1. The Future Hurts
The nostalgia of SNES games is already upon us, and the children who play video games now will likely never know about some of the greatest games of all time. It’s not their fault, there are just so many games being released on affordable consoles that there really isn’t much draw to going back to the games in the 90s.
They must seem insignificant, the 90s, to the young whippersnappers. They have only existed in a world with smartphones, the internet, and realistic 3-dimensional graphics. Their idea of Transformers is the Michael Bay films. They know nothing of the blowing on cartridges, AOL instant messenger, wired controllers, flip cell phones, and waiting in line for the new Halo. On a positive note, our generation, the 20-40 year olds, will be referred to for centuries to come as those who witnessed the birth of the age of information.
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